Just How Much Has Changed
by Dr. Feet
Summary: Kendall hasn't been around too much because most of his free is time dedicated to his girlfriend, but he's finally able to take in just how much Logan's changed since he's been gone.


**AN:** This idea's been plaguing me for a while, ever since I decided to sit down and think 'Holy dang. Logan has changed!' Which brought on many thoughts, many theories, and many conversations between these boys :| I think I did.. okay at getting the characterization down, but both of them might be a little dickish. Logan, because he's totally changed into a dicky!mini-James, yet somehow maintains just enough lovable nerdiness to qualify as the adorable nerd. Kendall, because it's told in his point of view and everyone's just a little bit a dick in their heads.  
Try to enjoy!

* * *

It was a dull Saturday afternoon of showering skies when Kendall decided to saunter into apartment 2J's kitchen for a snack. All his plans with Jo had to be canceled because Jo had to shoot another scene for New Town High and the rain made the _frikkin' perfect_ opportunity for the directors to squeeze in a dramatic, rainy scene between Rachel and Drake sharing their _nice, beautiful feelings for each other_. Kendall was never watching his girlfriend's show. He loved her to death, but that show was too much.

In utter boredom, Kendall decided it'd be best to search the refrigerator for food. What else was to be done when bored? He yanked the door open and stooped down to look through his choices, obvious distaste shifting around on his face as he took it all in.

Nothing, nothing, nothing, and a whole load of nothing! (Of course, the shelves were loaded with food, but none of it looked _right_ at the moment.)

He closed it with a sigh of slight irritation, standing up to full height in time to notice Logan plop onto the bright orange couch in front of the TV with a box of cereal in his hands. Kendall didn't even have to look around to know what cereal it was in his small, nerdy friend's hands; strawberry coated Mini-Wheats. Logan's old favorite cereal. Some things never changed.

The band leader grinned and made his way over to Logan as the boy turned the television on and flipped the channel to some documentary on... some old dude that wore a strange hat.

"Howdy, Logie!" he greeted loudly as he leapt over the couch and landed practically on top of his friend. Logan hardly flinched; _that_ was new.

"Hi K-dog," he responded with a surprised grin to the dirty-blond haired boy who sat entirely too close for a normal human being to declare enough breathing space.

"You still eat these?" Kendall asked conversationally. He reached into the box without asking for permission(though it seemed to be given since Logan made no move at protesting) and took a handful of the cereal of the oddly sweet and dull taste.

"Yup. Guess it's always gonna be my favorite snack," Logan stated, popping a few in his mouth at once.

"Guess so. I thought you'd kicked your habit," Kendall laughed. "Who got it? Mom stopped buying it when she thought you were allergic to strawberries. Remember when we were thirteen?"

Logan chuckled. "Oh yeah, I remember that! I was wondering why she never got it again."

"I think it's in her little rule book to not buy it any more. You really freaked her out when those strawberries made you sick."

"Well how was I supposed to know Carlos got Cold Cole to cough on them! That guy was always sick." A frown crossed Logan's features as he remembered the incident, but Kendall grinned.

"Okay, it was kinda harsh, but still funny. And gross. But funny."

Logan's disapproval(and disappointment) at Kendall's nonchalance to the prank that had bedridden him was quite apparent.

"Whatever."  
"So, my Mom didn't buy your Wheats. Did you? Didn't think you'd fork over your money just for cereal. Aren't you, like, saving for college or something?" The blond one engulfed another crunchy cereal piece.  
"Umm James got it."

"..James did? Why?" Kendall tried ignoring the stiffness that grew in his shoulders, gripped within his back and caused him to straighten in his seated position.

"Um just 'cause, I guess." Logan shifted uncomfortably in his seat now.

Logan was spending an awful lot of time with James, wasn't he? In fact, Kendall could remember hearing Logan had broken up with Camille because of James, yet _they were still hanging out_. Logan seemed to cling to James nowadays—well, a lot less more recently than he did a few months back, but still a lot more than he currently spent with Kendall. Did Logan have some sort of crush on James? Maybe he did. Did James _know_? The bastard, he probably did. Maybe that was why James had kissed Camille, to mess with Logan! Bastard, bastard, bastard, bastard.

But both his pals were straight. So. Kendall took a small inhale and exhale of breath, eyes fixated on the television screen.

"Well... what exactly are you watching?" Kendall asked with a forced enthusiasm(maybe he should have feigned disapproval, since the look Logan gave him for his interest was one of incredulity).

"Um it's just a biographical documentary on—"  
Blahblahblahification. Logan went into a long-winded description of whoever the guy on the television was and his impact on society today, and Kendall couldn't help but stare as his typically verbose friend mixed highly intelligent words only a college professor could understand with everyday, understandable terms. It was a fascinating thing, really. He used less complicated terms than normal-people words, but his habit of speaking in a whole other language of intelligence slipped in every now and again as he went on and on like a well rehearsed beauty pageant contestant giving her speech of how she wants to change the world. But it was smarter and had nothing to do with anything "for the children."

Then Kendall had to wonder when Logan's "smart" words had just become a bad habit, and when he had decided on using more "everyday" words. It couldn't have been recently, could it? Now that Kendall thought about it, he couldn't remember at all the last time he'd had a huge geometry lecture out of the blue from his best friend. He couldn't pinpoint the last time his friend had tutored him, either, though schoolwork wasn't that high a priority on any of their lists these days. Come to think of it, Kendall couldn't even remember when his friend had last said something was a bad idea and tried stopping any of his friends from possibly harming themselves. Or when he'd last fidgeted and cowered in public, freaked out about having to talk to a girl, clung to Kendall when something bad was inevitably going to happen, sat in a corner reading a thick book on medical procedures, stuck close to Kendall during recording, or just sat back and watched life unfold around him. Now that Kendall was suddenly looking at his best friend, he saw how _changed_ he was. He wasn't scared, he wasn't timid, he wasn't waiting for life to spontaneously jump-start for him. How could Kendall just miss it all?

"...and in 1836, he was finally noticed and made—"  
"What happened?"

Logan cocked an eyebrow and opened his mouth with a small shake of his head in that confused sort of way only Logan could ever do, and the normalcy of it calmed Kendall a bit, reminded him of the Logan he knew.  
"Wh—Do you mean with..?" He gestured to the television, where Kendall saw Logan had paused it on an old historian's face in the middle of speaking(it looked like the man was sneezing, and the image was momentarily entertaining) so they could talk.

"No. No, no. I mean... Well." What did he mean? "Like... you're... different..."  
Logan squinted his eyes in another act of loss and confusion.  
"What are you talking about?"

"Different. You. You used to be scared all the time. You've just, I dunno, changed all of a sudden."  
An eyebrow was still comically propped up on Logan's pale face.

"I haven't changed.."

"That's a lie." Kendall frowned. "You couldn't walk out of here without having my Mom know where you were going, what you were doing, and when you'd be back before. And you always needed someone to go with you. You wouldn't even go to the pool by yourself!"

".. Um I guess I just got used to it?"  
The blond shook his head.  
"No, you've changed. You don't freak out with girls anymore. You don't freak out about crazy plans anymore. You don't.. read anymore!"

"I umm don't have time to read now? Sorry Kendall, but I think you're making a big deal out of nothing." That wasn't true. Even as the words left the small boy's mouth, they both knew they weren't true. Logan always talked back to Kendall, but he always caved in and—eventually—agreed with what Kendall was saying. Kendall didn't think this would be any different.

"Think about it, man. You can't say you haven't changed. You're definitely not the Logan that came into Hollywood with us." He really didn't know whether or not that was a particularly good thing. Logan sighed and shook his head.

"So I'm a little bit more comfortable around. Who cares? Doesn't mean I'm not the same old Logan I used to be. Just chill out, Kendall."

'So maybe you're right, but don't overwhelm yourself with this, Kendall.'

'Just take a deep breath and think slowly about this, Kendall.'

'Everything's gonna be okay; we said we wouldn't change, so I haven't, Kendall,'

were all answers Kendall had been expecting. Not what he was given.

Maybe it was because Kendall wasn't really around anymore. But how did that make sense? Without Kendall, wasn't Logan a lost puppy? Logan had _relied_ on Kendall at one point. Now Kendall had a girlfriend and didn't pay as much attention to his friends, so shouldn't Logan have sat in his bedroom and waited for Kendall to come back? Kendall couldn't remember Logan once talking to him about trivial little thing they used to constantly chat about since he started dating Jo. Did Logan hate Jo? No, Kendall knew that couldn't be true. Logan had a huge heart and absolutely loved her. Well, with Kendall gone, no one was urging Logan to do anything. Kendall had always pushed him forward, _tried_ to get him to do something other than read.

_James_. Fuckin' _James_ had stepped in for some reason. The pretty boy hung out less with Carlos than he did before, so he had to take Kendall's Logan. _Dammit_.

James was a headstrong and defiant kid. If Logan didn't want to do something, James wouldn't rearrange his plans to accommodate the shy boy; he would _force_ him into it. Logan would never put it so bluntly, but Kendall knew that's what had to have happened. A few things James did every single day that were insanely flamboyant were a whole other language—_species_, even—to Logan, James would feel _obligated_ to throw the boy into it. He was the one who'd gotten Logan and Camille together, too, wasn't he? _Damn him_.

Kendall loved James, he really did(the dude was like a brother to him), but Kendall felt an overwhelming anger at the pretty and talented one of the group that he just couldn't really explain at the moment.

"Kendall, you okay?" Logan asked. Kendall's lips smiled, but his eyes refused to do so.

"Great. Just great. Hey, if you need any help with homework some time, I'm here," Kendall offered spontaneously. Logan seemed genuinely surprised and appreciative of the suggestion. Before he could express any sort of gratitude, Kendall was saying, "Well, I'm gonna call Jo. See if she's done shooting yet." The fall on Logan's face was enough to let Kendall know his Logan was still there, still relying on him.


End file.
